Oh My Goodness!! It's been so long!

Lexana the Bear is alive and well and living in her very own apartment. (And has the internet so can tell you all about it!)

My darling parents drove up for the move (three weeks ago) and we camped out in my barely put together space. Then we schlepped and schlepped, took a break to check out Lincoln Square, then schlepped some more! The first proper meal made in my apartment was salad and spaghetti with a lovely Malbec and chocolate for dessert. Classic and delicious. As a Thank-You I fed my folks banh mi from the lovely Ba Le in Little Saigon and introduced them to the Chicago Dog at Budackis down the street. I may flatly refuse to acknowledge deep dish “pizza” as legit Pizza but the Chicago style hotdog has won my heart. Though slightly skeptical at first (“Honey, all pickle relish is green.” “NO! It’s like emerald green!!”) my parents agreed to it’s awesomeness too.

I’ve now been in my place three weeks and it has been absolute bliss! I’ve been unpacking and rearranging to my little hearts content! I’ve still got to work out the closets, get the internet going (I’m getting twitchy), and spend some quality time with a bottle of bleach in the bathroom but other than that it’s lookin’ pretty good! There was a Terrible Incident when I tried to use my oven for the first time. The dumbass who lived here before me sprayed oven cleaner in there and just left it so about a month later I move in and promptly fill the apartment with smoke from the residue. That was special. My poor Mom had to stand there waving a towel at the smoke alarm while Dad and I knelt on the floor peering into the oven trying to figure out WTF was going on! One spatula, a flashlight, several rinses with a sponge later and the damn thing was residue free!

I also don’t have a toaster anymore so I have mastered the art of toasting bread under the broiler. The key? Constant vigilance. Every morning I put the kettle on and preheat the broiler. While my tea steeps I sit cross-legged on the floor with an oven mitt on my hand, constantly opening and closing the broiler door, for approximately 4 minutes. It reminds me of one of the many wise things Lady Agnes Jekyll says in her book Kitchen Essays:

“Toast, to be good, demands a glowing grate, a handy toasting-fork, and a patient watcher-counsels of perfection indeed, for the ideal rack is like friendship and the immortality of the soul, almost too good to be true“. So there. I’m just following the good Lady’s advice. Because is there anything as tragic as burnt toast? No. There isn’t. Although I’m not sure I really qualify as a “patient” watcher. Just so sleep addled that sitting on the floor for a while seems like a good plan.

Actually I’ve had several kitchen fails in the last two weeks now that I think of it! Or at least some Interesting Moments like “Huh. How the f*ck do I use this Ikea can opener”. I had to Google it embarrassingly enough. There’s a part that folds out from the handle but it was too cleverly designed for me. Stupid Swedes.

Oh and then I injured myself on some asparagus. I know! One of my favorite things to do to asparagus is to attack it with a vegetable peeler-the poor girl’s mandoline-to have either as a raw salad, or slightly cooked over some linguine. Well a slice of the shaved asparagus jumped ship and encrusted itself to my stovetop, but when I went to pick it off a splinter of it went right under my fingernail! An asparagus splinter. I can’t make this shit up.

Then yesterday I was going to try and make soft-boiled eggs and just succeeded in wasting three. One I cracked when I realized that by turning my burner to low I had actually just turned it off so the fluctuation in heat made it blow. And then when I went to peel the last two I found they hadn’t solidified to an edible state so into the trash those went. I ended up just scrambling some eggs (which I do really well thanks to Julia Child) and they tasted just fine with my roast asparagus and slice of toast. And looked rather pretty next to all my green books!

But on the upside I did manage to make brownies without the use of a liquid measure and survived two weeks without a microwave and only one pot to cook in! And my folks got me really nice olive oil and balsamic vinegar so I’ve been making these massive salads that I manage to devour in seconds flat.

Because I may only have one pot at the moment but I do have a salad spinner and a dressing bottle!! I really just need to get my ass to TJ Maxx and buy these things since I have a gift card, I’ve just been so very busy! Perhaps I'll do it this weekend...