Twitch. Twitch. Fail.

These past few days have been the sort so full of stress that I fear my brain might explode. I'm exhausted, mentally and physically. Friday was waking up to the chicago police dept, crazy people, mice, blocked drains, broken buzzers, bad smells and stolen CTA cards. After I told her about my day Mom said, "You just can't make that shit up". No. You can't. It left me out of sorts and twitchy. Not even Asian food and Ben & Jerry's provided by the Moshka quite got me out of it. I've never been terribly good at handling stress. I get things done, usually not gracefully, but it takes a physical toll on me that makes it even worse. I'm a tense little person and just turn into one giant muscle knot with a whelmed brain. Blah.

Saturday I slept later than anticipated so woke up already running behind for a brunch date. Fantastic. What is this, Fail Month?? So I arrived half and hour late to a brunch (in Lincoln Park, aha) where I only knew the hostess looking like a hot mess with wet hair. I felt like a shit but the second I saw Miss Leslie (the lovely lady who has known me since I was about 5, always gave me odd jobs to do on my winter breaks, and takes me out to lunch every time she comes to Chicago) I got over it. She's just like that. It turned out to be a great brunch, Leslie is a natural hostess, and the grilled fish sandwich was delicious. And I got one of the nicest compliments from her friend, apparently I'm the most interesting person she's ever met. How sweet is that?

After running a few errands I came home and for a little while just sat curled up in the chair by the window to just sit in the sun. Like a cat. It helped but I was still panic-y. I made some tea but that still wasn't quite doing it so I figured I might as well try cooking.

You see, I've found that cooking in that state can either be a remedy or a really dumb idea. For example, Friday in a panic I made a batch of not-that-tasty-Beduin flatbread since I was out of pita. That was a dumb idea. I ate two out of eight and may just throw the rest out.

But yesterday I made Sweet Potato with Apple Bake and for the first time in two days had a normal heart beat. I was worried I'd eventually just morph into a hummingbird or mouse or GIR from Invader Zim. A tweaky mess basically. But a half hour of peeling, chopping and listening to a Prarie Home Companion calmed me down into something like a real person.

Which is good since I was having company coming over! Luckily it was the best kind of company who don't care that I'm wearing my pjs. It was Miss Connie and Miss Cait, and we watched Jim Henson's The Dark Crystal and got tipsy and ate Sweet Potato Bake and made an entire tray of brownies which we ate 3/4 ths of. I was 100% twitch free by the time they left (which was 1:30 AM!!). Brownies and booze can fix anything.

I'm really glad this is the last week of March. It's been a difficult month, for lots of reasons, but most of them have added up to me feeling like a bad grown up. Which is stupid because I have more of my shit together than most kids my age, but it doesn't change how mad I get when I "fail" at something. And the month itself doesn't help either! The weather is wacked, daylight savings messes your clock up and I have a lot of things going on in my life at the moment. So maybe its just that I don't feel centered, just a bit off my axis so everything is harder or more likely to go awry.

Oh well, on Friday it will be a new month and a very exciting month! I'm getting my Illinois license (hopefully), taking a swing dancing class with Miss Haley, Miss Anwen is coming to visit, and I'm turning 25. All within the first week! Madness! I guess I'll just have to keep cooking huh?